Growing Up

We spend the first 21 years of our life wishing we were a grown up. We can't wait to be an adult and to be on our own. I was one of those people.

Then, we become an adults and life isn't what we expected. It's not as easy as we thought. There are bills, difficult decisions and responsibilities.

Today is one of those days that I really felt like a grown up. I also have found myself wishing that I was a naive 7 year old without a care in the world. I wish I could crawl up in my mamas lap and cry. I wish I didn't understand.

But, I am an adult. I know what is going on. I have found myself today being a caregiver to both my dad, and to Gran. I have also found out some very devastating news.

Dad is perfectly fine, just had a colonoscopy. But, for the first time, I was the only one in the waiting room. I was the one that the doctor spoke with. I was the one that took him home. It was new role for me, one that made me question what my life will be like as my parents continue to age.

Gran, on the other hand, is not doing well. They have added another chemo drug in hopes of making a difference. We must see progress soon, or we may not win the battle. My heart aches. As I care for my Gran, I see a whole different person. She still has her spunk, but she's just not the same. She's sick. I know that it's not just the chemo that we need to work. I know that God is the one in control. So, if you are the praying type, I ask that you pray for God to heal Gran.

So, for now, I have my big girl panties on and I'm holding back tears. I'm cherishing ever second I can while I am with my Gran. And I'm praying and having faith that God WILL heal.

Gran and her Sam

Over It

I'm over it.  It being snow.  And ice.  And cold. 

We live in Texas, not North Dakota or New England or Michigan or any other place that gets snow normally.  We don't even live in the panhandle of Texas.  We should not have over an inch of ice covered by 3 inches of snow that will not go away.  It should not be below freezing for four days in a row. 

It all started Monday night.  It began raining at 5pm.  Then about 11pm it began sleeting.  Around 2am Tuesday the snow began.  It's beautiful, really.  Anyway, it hasn't gotten above 25 degrees since Monday, when it was around 70 degrees.  So, it's all frozen solid.  We haven't had school since Monday and we don't have school tomorrow.  And everyone is going stir crazy, including me.

To top it all off, Anthony has been gone all week.  And during Gran's biopsy Wednesday, we have learned that the cancer has spread to her lymphnodes.  Not going to lie, I kind of like Alexander's (from Alexander and the Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day) of hopping on a plane to Australia.  But,  our airport was closed.  And Alexander says "everyone has bad days, even in Australia."

Thankfully, Anthony made it home safely today.  It took him 4 hours to make an hour and a half drive.  I'm so glad to have him home.  My grandmother seems to be doing okay and be in pretty good spirits.  And the temperature is supposed to get up to the 50s Saturday.  So, hopefully things are about to start getting better. 

For those of you praying for my grandmother, please continue to pray.  I assume in the next week they will be doing more scans to see if the cancer has spread to any other organs.  Pray that it has not.  Pray for Gran's spririts to stay high.  And pray for my family.

Gran

I just wanted to share with you a few pictures of Gran from our wedding.  This first one is a picture of her dancing.  I love that she always has fun and never cares what anyone thinks.  Unfortunately, I don't have this trait.  The next pictures is of her dancing with my brother.  And that last picture is of Anthony and I with Gran.

I talked to her tonight and she seemed to be thinking very positive.  (Another trait I wished I possessed, I am the worrier of the family.)  She went and bought her some new pajams for after the procedure.  (That's a trait I have!)  Please continue to pray!

Bad news

Unfortunately, we did not not get the news we had hoped for today.  If the weather permits, she will be having a mastectomy on Wednesday.  At that time, we will learn more about the stage and the treatment.  She is a very strong woman and seems to be handling well. It's times like these that I wish I still lived at home. 

Please keep Gran (Nancy) in your prayers.