32 days

Gran has been in heaven for 32 days. As is expected, I have good days and I have bad days. I have days that I think of things she used to say or do and just smile. Other days, that laughter turns to tears. Gran was such a special person to me. And I was equally as special to her. You see, she had 3 sons. She really wanted a girl. I was her first grandchild and I was a girl. A double whammy! Can you say spoiled?!

I grew up spending the night at her house on a regular basis. And if I wanted to go home in the middle of the night, she took me. When I was about 10, she had an above ground pool put in. She would always let me come and swim and have friends over. And she always hadmy favorite snacks. When I started cheering in junior high, she never missed a event. She was at every pep rally when I was a varsity cheerleader. She was my number 1 fan. In college, we talked regularly. She even came and stayed a few times. When I got married, she danced the night away and my wedding. She was so happy and proud. And the love she had for me, was also extended to Anthony. And even though I was married, our phone calls never stopped. We talked at least 4 times a week. She looked forward to every visit home I made and even made a few visits to visit me. She was such an important part of my life. We had such a special bond that most don't share with their grandparents. I feel so blessed, but so empty too.

When Gran passed and we wrote her obituary, we asked that in leau of flowers donations be made to a local organization for breast cancer survivors. I knew gran would prefer that as she really didnt care for flowers. They are using some of that money to purchase books for survivors at their next retreat. They have asked mom and I to write in them. I am so honored. Gran would love it!

Craz-E

My kids have been nuts this week! A cold front came through yesterday and the moon is full. Each of those in itself can lead to a crazy day. But the two, together, equals insanity.

Even the kids have noticed. Today, the had an assignment to come up with a way to describe the children in our class.

This one was right on!

Goodbye

Gran took her last breath on January 22. The cancer had taken over her liver and it completely shut down. We had gotten home the day before and were able to spenda good bit of the day with her. She was unconcious though. I have to say, it made it a bit easier. She was no longer the smiling, feisty Gran that I grew up with and loved so much. It was time for her to go Home.

While I knew how great she was and loved her so much, I didnt realize just how many lives she touched. The out pouring of food was amazing. We had more food than we could possibly eat. Afamily night was held on Tuesday, January 24. A huge downpour started just as we arrived. I figured that many people would stay home. I was wrong. People stood in line for an hour. There were so many people. I know she never wouldhave stood in that line. She either would have cut in line or left. That was just her. The rain continued all night and into Wednesday. But just before the funeral, it stopped. I'm pretty convinced she kept complaining about the rain until God had had enough. Her service was amazing. She was so well known and loved that it had to be held at the largest Church in town. There were so many lovely plants and flower arrangements. While she will be missed dearly, it was a celebration of her life here on earth and her new life in Heaven.

Not a day goes by that I don't think about her. And miss her with all I have. I just want to be able to pick up the phone and talk to her about the bachelor or text her a picture of Sam. And in a sense, it seems like I should be able to. It all happened so fast (3weeks) that it still hasn't completely set in.

I know one day I will see her again. Until then, I will hang on to all the special memories and know she is always here with me.