Growing Up

We spend the first 21 years of our life wishing we were a grown up. We can't wait to be an adult and to be on our own. I was one of those people.

Then, we become an adults and life isn't what we expected. It's not as easy as we thought. There are bills, difficult decisions and responsibilities.

Today is one of those days that I really felt like a grown up. I also have found myself wishing that I was a naive 7 year old without a care in the world. I wish I could crawl up in my mamas lap and cry. I wish I didn't understand.

But, I am an adult. I know what is going on. I have found myself today being a caregiver to both my dad, and to Gran. I have also found out some very devastating news.

Dad is perfectly fine, just had a colonoscopy. But, for the first time, I was the only one in the waiting room. I was the one that the doctor spoke with. I was the one that took him home. It was new role for me, one that made me question what my life will be like as my parents continue to age.

Gran, on the other hand, is not doing well. They have added another chemo drug in hopes of making a difference. We must see progress soon, or we may not win the battle. My heart aches. As I care for my Gran, I see a whole different person. She still has her spunk, but she's just not the same. She's sick. I know that it's not just the chemo that we need to work. I know that God is the one in control. So, if you are the praying type, I ask that you pray for God to heal Gran.

So, for now, I have my big girl panties on and I'm holding back tears. I'm cherishing ever second I can while I am with my Gran. And I'm praying and having faith that God WILL heal.

Gran and her Sam

Hanging On

In case you were worried (I'm sure you anxiously wait for my randmomness), I'm still alive.  Life has been CRAZY!

Friday was my birthday.  The day started off great.  The kids sang happy birthday.  My team brought me a birthday cake.  It was a wonderful day of work.  After work, we loaded up the car and headed home.  My aunt and uncle had came in from Mississippi.  The men were headed to the races and the women were having girl time.  I dropped Anthony off with my dad and uncle and was told my grandfather (92 years old, living alone) had fallen and they had taken him to the ER.  He was okay, but they wanted to check him out.  So, I continued the drive to my parents and when I got into town, he was still there.  So, I went up to the ER.  They had decided to move him to the ICU, but never really told us why.

Needless to say, our plans didn't really work out.  He was in the hospital up until yesterday.  Other than a blood infection, they never found anything wrong with him.  He has now been released and moved to a nursing home.  It was something we knew was needed, but getting him there was hard.  Now that he's there, I think he's going to like it.

Don't worry though, the guys didn't get to enjoy their fun either.  It rained ALL weekend there.  The races didn't take place until Monday.

While I am sad that things didn't work out as planned, I'm more grateful that my aunt and uncle were in town to support my mom through the whole experience and she didn't have to go at it alone.

I took Monday off work.  I had my GI appointment.  More tests will be run over the next few months.  It's going to be fun (here's where we need a sarcasm font)!

My kids have been CRAZY.  This is the worst case of spring fever I've seen.  They are chatty as ever.  They are mean to each other.  And they won't listen to me! 

I am so glad tomorrow is Friday.  And I'm so glad there are only 27 days of school left.